Under the lampposts of Berlin
by Fomalhaut16
Summary: In 1945, the Soviets arrived to Berlin, ending the war in Europe. But they would learn that the war went beyond the battlefield, and Russia would show it to them. Not fully evil Russia. Historical Hetalia
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Neither Hetalia nor its characters belong to me. Both belong to their respective author.**

 **Warnings: war issues, rapes, etc.**

 **The story will be told in the first person by my OC. This story is inspired by the German film Ein Frau in Berlin (A Woman in Berlin); if you have not seen the film I recommend it.**

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PRELUDE

The dust in the streets, like fog in a cold morning, prevented anyone from seeing beyond anything, and even if you did, everything was diffuse and unrecognizable. Noises and shots were common to hear, and the anguish was a feeling that many had embedded in their chest, as I did.

Since January, the Russian army has not stopped advancing and it was said that the fall would be imminent. And even so, we would resist. Surrender? Lose? Until a few years ago this seemed impossible, laughable. Even though everything seemed to be lost, deep down I could not believe it. For me, Germany was still standing and fighting and we would not lose until not a single German fell. I still was not really aware of the seriousness of our situation.

Still, for many, the Greater Germany would not lose even if all of Russia came towards us.

With Mrs. Schneider we lived in an old and huge apartment not far from the Reichstag, but not close to it either. If the Russians arrived-what everyone with illusion wanted to not happen-at least I would not be the first to fall. I liked the idea of standing, being the last to fall. Now I know I was confused, desperate, because in the end everyone knew, the Russians would arrive, and when they did, everything would be over.

The Russians stalked us for the east, the English, American and the French in the west. And I always wondered who I hated the most? Well, hatred towards an enemy is proportional to how close you are to them, and now, the Russians were the closest.

Because I still did not fall into the idea that everything would end soon, I was not so worried about my family, who lived in Düsseldorf and others in Bavaria. What really anguished and worried me was Germany.

But I was in Berlin, in Berlin and in the last days of all that. I had left for Berlin with him in 1940, and I had never been able to leave. And I would not do it now.

In those days, I had seen death in person many times, and many times I had ripped the soul of the impression, but something always made me feel slightly optimistic. It was as if, Germany, my beloved Germany took me the face and forced me to look up still, to raise my face and keep fighting.

I would dare to say that I remember how it all started, and that I remember everything before all this but it would be a lie. I was only 12 years old when the Führer * had arrived and Nazism enveloped Germany. Anything before that was irrelevant to everyone because what does it matter? The world was gray for Germany before that, and everything got better when they arrived, that's all that matters, everything they told us that mattered. And for me, who grew up with them, it was really strange that from one day to the next, all that, my entire world and all the images that "glorified" Germany, were going to fall. Nobody really expects it. And if that ended, then the world would die for all. And soon everything would end, evidently.

Reality would not wait to hit us, and reality came dressed in red.

When the Russians arrived in our area, it was April 26, 1945, and it was a day that ... well ...

Many times I wanted to catalog that day. The worst day of my life? Maybe. The day of truth? A Before and an after? Whatever it was, for better or for worse, it was horrible.

At first, at dusk, I heard shots and shouts, the soldiers were stirring like bees in the hive. Among the debris and dust, and death, all prepared to resist. When I heard what was happening, I heard the tanks, the shots and the war cries, my heart almost stopped. I ran to our apartment with Mrs. Schneider, and we locked ourselves in there, like everyone else did. And through the window, between the curtains, as night fell, we saw how the soldiers and officers, and the children resisted. Mrs. Schneider did not like the children to participate, but we were a hive, one that tried to take care of our home, Germany.

That night, I embraced old Mrs. Schneider and begged, whoever it was, I begged, even though I knew it was useless.

It was not until three in the morning when everything arrived at its destination. Soon, by simple deduction the Soviets advanced over the German forces, so the German forces had to retreat, leaving us all alone, with the Soviets in our streets. The noises, the shots and the screams alerted us.

I quickly got dressed and together with Mrs. Schneider we heard the old wood of the building creak, and the noise coming from the streets. Even with the Russians in the streets I still did not fall for the idea of what was happening. But I would. Oh yes I would.

Suddenly, from the stairs and corridors we heard screams and people talking, so Mrs. Schneider, fearing that something would happen between the neighbors, like a mutiny or uprising against the Soviets-which would end in a shooting where we would all die-went to see what happened, leaving me alone in the wait.

The wait was long and after spending about 20 minutes I became impatient and scared. The noises, the voices and the open doors abruptly became more intense, so I could not calm down easily and soon, I wanted to go out and look for Mrs. Schneider, and see with my own eyes what was going on outside. But that could not be, something prevented me.

When I was about to leave the room, five Russian soldiers suddenly appeared in the room, blocking my way. It was there, perhaps, when I knew everything was over much earlier than I had thought.

One of them, tall, imposing, with silver hair and penetrating eyes,-he looked like an officer-, was blocking my way, standing in front of the door of the room. I do not know what my face was, my expression, but I felt like a mouse before him, who had a grim smile. They were in front of me. The Russians had arrived.

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 ***Führer: form in which Hitler was called, which means in German "Leader"**

 **Here the first chapter! It will not be a long story, notice. I hope you found the reading enjoyable.**

 **It seemed to me that there was not much about these issues so I wanted to do it about this, although always with respect to all those people who suffered in those times and those who suffer today.**

 **In addition, I have relatives whose parents were children in Berlin during the occupation, so I have juicy information for the matter.**

 **Until the next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Neither Hetalia nor its characters belong to me.**

 **Warnings: mentions of rapes, war issues, etc.**

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THE CALVARY

They were in front of me. The Russians had arrived. It was pretty quick to tell the truth.

At the moment I wanted to leave and suddenly I saw them there in the room, in front of me, I did not react. For that eternal moment there was no reaction. But when I finally came back to reality and wanted to avoid them and leave the building, hardly any thought crossed my mind it was too late. When my mind reacted, long before I even moved a muscle, that one in front of me had already grabbed me, said something indecipherable, and with a sudden push threw me to the bed.

When I realized I already had him on me. I screamed. He took me strongly. I screamed and black tears fell down my eyes. I asked for help, but it was useless. My cries were a few around, because I could even hear the screams in the streets, in the corridors, the cries and cries everywhere. If someone had heard me scream, it did not matter, everyone did it.

First of all, as if he wanted to reaffirm his presence on me, he put his fine lips on mine by force, squeezing them tightly, cutting them with his teeth. I closed my eyes hard at that.

How easy it was for him, with just lifting my dress, he already had me. I cried and cried, while he moved without delicacy on me. At that time it was the end. Everything was over for me. Definitely everything was pretty fast. From one moment to another, my world had fallen and finished; now there was nothing.

And there, in the dim light of the lamp, in the Berlin night, I knew with pain that he, who made me dance a forced dance; I knew that I had all of Russia on me. And tears kept coming out of my eyes. But I knew that this suffering was not mine alone. I knew that many Germans had suffered before us, only that the Russians had not yet arrived, and I knew that many Germans still did not suffer, but they would suffer at the time. I also knew that for them, those who still resisted, the thing was not over, I used to thinking like that. But for me everything was over, without a doubt.

I never stopped resisting, ever. Although I must admit that over time my struggles became less intense, but I never let myself get.

How horrible it was. He did it to me there, on my own bed, with the door open, all his companions saw us and laughed at my situation. It was horrible.

Where are you, Mrs. Schneider? I lamented inside myself. Wherever she was, I knew she was not having a better time. I could not even feel sorry for myself, because they were all suffering, and my laments were just part of a chorus of laments that resonated in Berlin.

Having him so close, and from time to time, daring to look into his eyes, I could see, and feel, the hatred that Russia had for me. Fury was what was unloading on me.

"If _he_ saw me," I told myself internally, jumping my last tear, before falling unconscious, still with Russia on me.

I woke up at dawn, when the sun was just rising. My face was still wet with tears, and my whole body was sore. I got up slowly as I could. Disgusting, everything I felt was disgusting, disgusting of everything. The room now not only smelled like old sheets, but there was also a strong smell of blood, vodka and something else. Now the building was in a sepulchral silence.

And when I looked up I saw him. He was sitting in a chair near the window, watching me, with vodka in his hand. A wave of hatred and terror crossed my body but I did not lower my gaze. He also looked at me intensely.

Slowly, without taking my eyes off him, I went cuddling on the bed, the farthest from him.

-You've woken up, okay. –he said. His powerful voice, his accent, his vodka breath, all of him made me sick; I hated him to the bone.

-I hate you-was the only thing I could say- I hate you! I hate the Russians! - I shouted, trying to keep my voice from breaking, although tears began to fall from my eyes again.

Before my affirmation he looked at me harshly.

\- What do you know about the Russians? I bet you did not even know what the Russians were before the war- He told me, mocking me. I looked at him with resentment and hatred. Apparently seeing me suffer seemed fun to him. Even so, under his laughter and teasing there was pain, it was obvious to me. I could even tell that he was holding back so as not to kill me. He could jump out of his chair at any moment and strangle me with his own hands.

The time passed, and the atmosphere was most tense. I watched him intensely, and he, at this, was dedicated to look at his men out the window.

"Soon everything will end ..." he said, but more to himself.

Even though he seemed very focused on that, his patience broke when he heard me cry again. Abruptly he came out of his doing. I moved between the sheets, which were wet with blood and something else. He brusquely sat next to me on the bed and grabbed me against my will. From his sack he took out a cigarette and put it in my mouth by force, and then turned it on. Before this I was shocking.

-Stop whining, you're alive, at the end of everything you're alive, that should make you happy. Give thanks that I have not killed you and dragged your body through the streets, "he said with hatred in my ear. I was stunned, because even though the latter said it in Russian, for some reason I understood every word. Without moving, he looked at me one last time, now without expression.

He got up from the bed, took his military cap, took his long coat, and immediately left the room. His steps echoed throughout the house until he had left. And when he had closed the door, I realized everything. The house was completely silent, a horrible silence. As soon as Russia was gone, Mrs. Schneider came in, looking for me. When I saw her, I burst into tears again. When she saw me, she graced me, and I cried in her shoulder. Between caresses, consolations and regrets, my hurt heart calmed down, I calmed down. Where Mrs. Schneider was all night, I did not know, although it was very possible that Russia and his people had not let her in. But it did not matter, she was there. I needed her and she needed me. And while caressing my hair, my mind finally thought clearly. The suffering and the ordeal that hit us would not dry until the Russians took what drove them so mad: the Reichstag. For the first time, I realized that everything was really lost a long time ago, I understood that optimism was stupid, but little and nothing mattered now, if there is no future there is nothing to lose, and Germany had no future for me.

* * *

 **Here is the second chapter that I had to write twice, it was frustrating, so if it does not seem very exciting that's why.**

 **This story has a deep historical framework, but it will be more a personal introspection. My OC is a girl but it could be anyone who was in Germany at that time and had to be aware of the blows what was really happening, etc.**

 **Until the next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Neither Hetalia nor its characters belong to me.**

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Urodlivaya kukla

The Russians had arrived to Berlin, but they had not yet taken the Reichstag. That meant that until Russia did not have Germany in his hands, he would be restless and retaliate with us, with me. I did not think about anything anymore, the world was at a standstill for me.

Mrs. Schneider always helped me and accompanied me in the cruel reality, reminding me that we were all in the same situation. Mrs. Schneider had even bribed a doctor - I never knew if he was German or Russian, I never asked - and she brought me medicine and protection for those times when Russia came to claim me.

I still felt sore, but it was nothing like the uncertainty and the feeling of being helpless before a precipice.

The presence of Russia was everywhere, and I felt that everywhere he was stalking me. Every time I tried to dodge him, he seemed to do what he could to torment me.

\- What's your name? - He said with malice.

-Elke- I answered fearfully, without looking at him.

\- That is an ugly name, I will call you _urodlivaya kukla_ *, what do you think? -Offended and saturated by the situation I defended myself instinctively.

-Well, Ivan is not a name very beautiful either-

-You can call me Vanya if you want- he said smiling. Those things about Russia were upsetting me. He was as cruel and deranged as he was kind. Still, he was more cruel than kind to me, and I knew why. Russia wanted Germany and as he still did not have him completely, his fury was unloading with whoever was in the middle.

Germany, I tried not to worry about him because doing so deeply anguished me and I could not stand another emotion in me.

.

.

I was sitting against the back of the bed, with a sad look, looking at the window, remembered how things were before, and how they had ended. Russia was in the usual chair, near the window, smoking peacefully.

What do you want from me?! - I had yelled more than once, and he just smiled insane, or mocked me. I understood then that if I wanted to have a result, I should talk calmly and respectfully, but I had never tried it before.

-What will happen to us? - I asked suddenly, without moving, without strength. At the question he stopped looking at the window and pushed his cigarette away.

-That will be seen after the war- he said with obviousness. I was silent for a while, and I asked him again.

-If we redeem ourselves, will you leave? will all of you leave us in peace? - I asked with a bias of sadness and expectation. Before the question, Russia laughed and denied.

-You think we'll leave Germany that easy after all the crimes you've committed- Crimes?

-What crimes? - I said defensively.

-Well, in the first place, all the crimes that we all do in the war, and secondly, are you not going to tell me that you do not know anything about the others? - He told me, there was something bright in his eyes when he said it.

\- What, you do not know of the politics against the Jews, the Poles, and the gypsies? - He asked me, mocking me.

-Well, yes I do, and what has that to do with crimes? - I counterattacked him.

\- Do not you know what they did to them? Where do you think they were taking them? - Russia seemed funny with all that.

-I ... I do not know- I said without more. Russian nodded.

-They were exterminated. Everything you've believed in is a lie-he said with pleasure, and that failed me.

-What do you think you are? Do you think you can invade my country, enter my home, rape me and question my ideology? - I said deeply offended, on the verge of crying.

\- What is your ideology? Explain it to me. What is Nazism? how did it come to power and why? Sure you do not know. And surely you also ignore that you invaded us first.

Tears fell from my eyes. I was confused. What Nazism was? Well…

-Nazism is the party of Germany- I said trying to appear proud.

-And what is it? - Again I did not know what to answer. What it was? Well I had never asked, I had always taken it as fact and had not questioned anything. Why would I? Everything seemed fine.

-Do you know at least how it came to power? - He questioned me again. How I hated him.

-I was a girl when it arrived! do you think I would know?! - I said almost shouting.

-You are no longer a child. At least you know who was before Hitler? - He asked me with a contemptuous look.

-Paul von Hindenburg- I said automatically, happy that I had been able to answer some of his uncomfortable questions.

-And before him? - He asked me satisfied. Again I did not know what to answer. My embarrassing silence said it all.

-Then ... - he said returning to his cigarette- you are a fascist who does not even know what fascism is. A fool girl who does not know her own ideology or know the history of her beloved country.

That statement bothered me a lot; he was insulting me in a very hurtful way.

\- What right do you have to ask me this, to question everything I believe in, what we all believed? You are not in a position to judge, you are a communist!

-Do you know what communism is, do you even know? - Russia raided, stretching to see me better, although we were quite separated.

Again his question failed me. If I was sincere, I had no idea what communism was about, but in my home, before, it was a very bad word, even though I knew nothing about it.

-No- I said embarrassed.

-What I believed, and I am in perfect conditions to judge, we have almost won- he answered me. Everything was like slapping for me.

I did not say anything; I wanted to end that painful conversation, the worst conversation of my life.

For a long time there was a sepulchral silence, and he did not speak to me. I remained in my position, completely melancholy and depressed.

"You're waiting for someone" -he told me, although it was a question of affirmation.

-Yes- I answered almost in a sigh.

\- Who? - He asked insistently.

-My fiancé, Hans- I said, looking him in the eyes.

-He has not returned?-I shook my head.

-You do not know anything about him? - He asked me.

-I have not seen him since 1941, and the last time he spoke to me in a letter was in '42, since then nothing.

\- Where did he go? - Russia asked me. If he was not a villain to me, I'd think he was trying to help me.

-To the war-

-I know that to the war you fool, I mean where- he said exasperated.

-I do not know- I said annoyed again.

\- You do not know where your fiancée left? - He accused me.

-In the last letter he told me he was going to Stalingrad- I said without further ado.

To Stalingrad? - Russia asked me really, with wide eyes, almost with emotion. And suddenly, he burst out laughing. Russia´s laughter was like the laugh of an opera singer, loud and rumbling, but it bothered me a lot, and I tried to make him stop laughing.

When Russia stopped, he looked at me like he never had before, and I was confused.

-Girl- he said- I'm afraid I'm a messenger of reality that has come to knock on your door. Your leader is a crazy murderer, while you lived in a illusion the world was dying around you. You hate me? Well, hate your leader too, for him I'm here, if they had not invaded me, I do not think I've gotten that far.

I looked at him with hate again. Every word that seemed to become true hurt me terribly. Get out! I yelled. Or I would have liked to scream at him.

Suddenly, he climbed up on top of me, and forced me to look at him, at his penetrating violet eyes.

He treated me brusquely, but he did not do anything to me. When he got up, and before he came through the door of the room, he turned to look at me again.

-And forget your fiancé. He will not return. He never will. To cling to him is to cling to the past, and the past is a shit - after saying this he left.

I knew that Hans would not come back, I knew it very well. But the door would always be open to him, even if he never came back.

.

.

 _To cling to him is to cling to the past, and the past is a shit._ The words of Russia remained in my mind all that afternoon. So my world had changed, I could not be sure of anything, suddenly, it was as if an idea was falling apart and everything seemed strange to me. I did not tell anyone, not even Mrs. Schneider.

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 *** Urodlivaya kukla: means** _ **ugly doll**_ **in Russian, respectively.**

 **Here is the third chapter! We are increasing the intensity.**

 **In this chapter many things are glimpsed: the majority of Germans of that time saw only a part of Nazism, they saw it as a salvation since when the Nazis arrived the situation of Germany improved a lot as it was before, but the people completely ignored everything else, all the crimes and what Nazism really entailed. Only a small sector of society was accomplices to them, and the others who knew them were exterminated.**

 **There is a famous saying that explains it: The first people that Nazism** **murderous was not the Jew, nor the Polish, the first people to suffer Nazism more than anyone was the German people. In future chapters this will be better explained, do not worry.**

 **To HistoryLover: thank you for your comment! and I know, I know well about the issue of rapes, in fact you anticipated a future topic to be discussed, haha. Although it does not look like, there will be treated few deep and little talked subjects in the story, hopefully you can read and give your opinion. :)**

 **To lol:** **Thanks for your comment and recommendation. :)**

 **Until the next chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Neither Hetalia nor its characters belong to me.**

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THE DAY THAT THE IMAGES FALL

The Russians had not stopped advancing on the German forces since January, and now, in April, a lethal count was unleashed for all. Advancing without stopping, the Soviets penetrated Berlin, and they would not stop, until they had Germany surrendered at their feet.

Since they had arrived in our area, our whole world was dismembered in pieces. Everything was finished for me, but it still did not finish everything really.

The Battle of Berlin was a cruel battle in which everyone gave their last, their last sighs, and where I saw, clearly, with my own eyes, body and soul, how cruel and horrible man could become.

Walking through the streets I saw many of our men, soldiers, surrender to the Soviets. Hundreds of children, women and men, dead, were lying on the ground, where everyone passed by and nothing. Fusillading everywhere. It was a common, common and tearing scene.

Walking down the street, I had to not look at the Soviet soldiers, who were looking for you at all costs. The rapes had become common, and that perhaps was the most terrifying thing. Ivan did nothing about it. I knew that until he got what he wanted, he would not stop tormenting us all. At that point, I knew perfectly well that Russia hated us completely, but incredibly, he restrained himself from killing us, as if, in the end, he had some respect for us.

Ivan had installed himself in the building, not in our apartment specifically, but he always came to it at night. Since the Russians arrived, many things changed drastically, and one of those innumerable things was that my bed was never cold again at night, and I had company again. The presence of Russia was disturbing, but at the same time it brought its advantages. Since he settled there, his boys protected the place and always brought encouragement. I was completely withdrawn to Russia, and I hated him, until he started bringing food. There my soul broke in two. From that moment I did not resist, I could not hate him in the same way, I hated myself for it.

There were even moments when I even wanted Germany to surrender, to end that torment. I think that feeling was not only in me. Germany had been invaded cruelly and now, even his own citizens, those who made him, were moving away from him. Poor my Germany.

But that day, that day was our final blow. If before we were on a precipice, now we had already fallen.

I do not remember very well how it was, where I was specifically, but I remember perfectly the speaker that said it, said something what we would never have believed, what pushed us to the precipice: the Führer was dead. Hitler had committed suicide. I do not know how the expressions of others were, nor do I know if everyone cared as much as I did. But to know it, it was as if something ripped something from my chest.

Shocked by the news, exalted by the emotions, all I could do was walk in a hurry through Berlin, while the Soviets celebrated the death of Hitler. It was a danger to have left so alone, but the world was melting around me, suddenly I did not understand anything or knew where I was. I almost wanted to cry of the confusion.

The Führer had committed suicide; he had left us all alone, at the mercy of the Soviets. Supposedly he loved us, and now, with cowardice, he left us completely helpless.

When I realized that the Goebbels, before the arrival of the Russians, had killed all their children, because supposedly, it was not worth living in a world without Nazism, there, my whole mind was broken, while I kept walking down the destroyed Berlin. Was Russia right? We had been ruled by perverse elites who had used the worst of us? I would have liked not to believe it, but I could not, the images fell before me, every symbol now seemed strange and chilling.

I entered the house agitated, almost convulsed by everything, and suddenly, Russia entered the house, saw him in the mirror standing on the threshold of the door, and I turned automatically. When I saw him there, with that strange expression on his face, suddenly I could not see him in the same way, for a moment, I felt that I loved him, that I really loved him. Those were the effects of feeling that everything was a lie, and the only real thing I had was him.

.

.

.

That night, Mrs. Schneider did not feel well, and soon, she sent for the doctor. Even though it was a real danger to go out into the streets at night alone, I did so. Mrs. Schneider felt bad, but I knew it was also because of the revelation that happened during the day.

I walked through the rubble, between the poor and destroyed Berlin in a hurry, when suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder that made me turn. In that moment, my heart jumped. It was Russia, but that did not make me feel more secure. For a moment, I was afraid that he would rape me again, right there, against the wall, and that the moon was the only witness of what happened. But none of that happened. On the contrary, he asked me where I was going, and offered to accompany me.

That's how I, a simple German girl and the Soviet Union went for a night walk under the lampposts of Berlin.

Russia walked elegantly by my side, and in the course of the time, I tried to bring up any subject, since I knew that Russia expected me to speak to him. However, my question was not the expected one.

-Where is Germany? - I asked. Russia looked at me between offended and surprised.

-Germany is here and now, between you and me, in that building, over there, it's in you-

-You know what I mean Ivan- I said.

There was a moment of silence, and then he told me.

-It is in the Reichstag- I agreed to his answer. But then another question came to me, one that unquestionably left him unprepared.

-And Prussia? Is he with him?" With that question stopped short and he looked at me intensely. There was a silence, as if assessing whether or not to tell me, until finally he spoke, walking on.

-No-

-Where is he?-

-I have him-

-What!? - I shouted.

-As you heard-he said exasperated.

\- Why do you have him? What will you do to him? Can I see him? - I attacked him with my questions. The fact that he had Prussia was alarming.

-No-

-No what?-

-You will not see him now, but do not worry, you'll see him again, and when you see him, you'll know-

-What does that mean? - I asked alarmed and annoyed.

-It means that you have to stop asking questions and ... do you dance with me? -

-What? You are making fun of me. I hate you! - Russia laughed.

-Oh! Girl, you have no sense of humor, but you know, something neither the Russians nor the Germans are famous for having a sense of humor, but then, if we are together, we would be the best.

All the way left and back, we discussed the stupidities that Russia, for being in a good mood, said.

But I did not forget the fact that Russia had Prussia and that fact stayed in my mind from that moment.

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 **Here is the fourth chapter. It covers strong topics in a subtle way, and lets us glimpse something that is not explicitly stated, what will it be?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Neither Hetalia nor its characters belongs to me.**

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MEMORIES

The situation that would happen in the next few days would mark the history of Germany forever, I knew it. Since Hitler had killed himself, Russia was becoming more nervous but at the same time less aggressive towards us. I was already unable to hate him as before, far from it. On the contrary, I even began to treat him in a good way, if he also did it. Obviously there was always resentment, from both sides, but soon everything would end, and the wounds would begin to heal. I also had an objective now: to get information to Ivan about Prussia, who according to him was captive. But Ivan was infallible, did not say a word and just said "You'll see." I did not understand what he was referring to.

It still cost me a lot to visualize a future for Germany, as if there really were not, but we should be there anyway. But my doubts, with time, would be clarified. Even so, the pain was present, it was always present, and there was nothing for us, just to be there, nothing more.

For a few days I had been able to contact my family again, who were in Bavaria. They were very worried about me, and more knowing where I was, who I was with. I told them everything except that, I did not want them to know, it was horrible, and my mother would die if she knew. They wanted me to leave Berlin. I wanted to do it too, and I would do it by having the opportunity, but not now. It was impossible in every way.

.

.

-How did you meet your fiancé? - Russia asked me out of the blue, while I was doing something to drink. When he mentioned it, I remembered him again, my dear Hans. I smiled, although sadly.

-I knew him when I was 16 years old. I loved him from the beginning. My parents liked him, he was a von *, with a distinguished name, and he was very nice, very kind-

There was a silence, Russia looked at me, waiting for me to continue, I strongly not to tearing, and I did it.

-When I was 18 I got engaged to him, and at 19 I went to Berlin to be by his side. Then, a year later, in 1941 he went to war, and did not return. That is all. Nothing more interesting I can tell you about me.

Ivan laughed a little at my last statement, and remained silent, looking at nothing, with a somewhat sad look. I had come to hate and appreciate him at the same time, but deep down, my biggest wish for him was to leave. Although also, little and nothing I knew about Russia, and suddenly I asked.

-And what about you? - I asked looking at him- Your story-Ivan smiled and shook his head.

-Bad question- he told me, but I insisted.

-What do you want me to say, girl? - He told me in a lament- Do you want me to say that I, the creepy Russia, was born with nothing in the snow, and I had to learn to survive alone in the storm? Do you want to hear that? Well, it's not true. I was born as a prince. I was the Kievan Rus, the most powerful medieval Slavic state. I controlled shops and I was the favorite of the Byzantine Empire, the Third Rome came to tell me. But like everything very big, I had to fall. Many of my brothers died in front of me, and soon I was invaded, as I am now to Germany, by the largest empire I have ever seen, the Mongol Empire. Mongolia did what I did the first night when I saw you, and forced me to marry him. I was separated from my sisters, Lithuania and Poland had taken them from me, and I, alone, became a vassal state of the Mongols. From that moment I vowed to become strong and autonomous of them, and to save my sisters, that kept me alive for a long time. I do not hate Mongolia yet, I carry his blood after all.

Russia paused, sighed, and looked up again.

-The day arrived when my most powerful city, Moscow, made me strong, and I was able to get rid of the Mongols at once, but nothing was better, on the contrary, I was repeatedly harassed and attacked by Poland, Lithuania, the Baltics, the Teutons, the Swedes, all of them because they thought I was dangerous. I fight for my autonomy and for my sisters and I became strong again, becoming the Russian Empire. It is true that atrocities and unspeakable things happened to me and saw whit my eyes, but it is not different from what others have seen and done. When I became the Russian Empire I only had one goal in mind, just one: fuck them all. Fuck them all for everything they had done to me, and soon, my sisters came back to me after centuries. I was really happy with this, but there I realized that in reality, nothing could satisfy me anymore, and that I was tied to a perverse game of power from which I could not escape.

I fought against everyone, France, England, the Turks, all because I was too big; I was always the bad guy for them, always. But soon, the pain and accumulated suffering of my whole life was too much and finally, the best thing that could have happened in my life happened to me: I soon had the revolution, the revolution of the Russian people, and I was happy, really happy , because the dream that I had, that we all had, was not for me, it was for everyone, for all humanity, and after that, I became the Soviet Union - he stopped his story, he was smiling, looking at a non specific point although there were sadness in his bright eyes and in his words.

-And then? - I asked to continue.

-And then Stalin came, and everything went to hell. And here I am, occupying Berlin, hurrying so that my own allies do not separate me as they have always wanted to do.

He looked at me, and without realizing it, a tear fell down my eyes. Russia, it was much more than I would have ever known.

.

.

When I received a letter from my mother that afternoon, I would not have expected something like that. When I read my mother's letter, all I could do was burst into tears. I cried inconsolably and entered the apartment in complete tears. Russia, when he saw me, approached me to see that happened to me. I could not speak for a while, until I could articulate a word, still crying.

-My cousin ... has been raped, by an American- I said to continue then in regret. Russia apparently tried to comfort me, but he knew he was not in a position to do such a thing. Suddenly I looked at him with rancor.

-You are not different. I hate you all! The Russians, the Americans, the English, the French, you are all the same garbage! For you we are a sack to hit. Poor of us, this is what destiny gave us! - I cried in tears.

Russia looked at me with those looks that he only knew how to give. Suddenly he told me:

-I've talked to my boss about it. He has issued a decree condemning the rapes. Any Soviet who abuses a woman again will be sentenced to death.

Before his affirmation I looked almost grateful, but I told him:

-Yes sure, and your men abide by that decree? - I challenged him.

-The decree is, to comply or not is another thing.

That said it all.

.

.

That same night, calmer, I prepared to continue questioning Russia about Prussia, but as always, it had not worked.

\- Tell me something at least, why did you let the other allies take Germany and you stayed with Prussia? Means something?

Russia looked at me with hatred, he was tired of my questions, he would rather take me as fast and leave early to escape from me.

-If it were for those bastards they would have all of Germany and they would have kicked me out, but I have taken my part too, and it will not be so easy for them to get rid of me. Did it mean something? No, it was about taking something before they did it. Does it mean something now? Of course, and I'd love to be there when you saw it- he told me before he lay down next to me.

That left me thinking, and added to his story, I knew that maybe the war was over, but automatically everything started again. We were all condemned.

* * *

* **Von: the surnames that carried the _von_ were upper class surnames. The von means **_**of.**_

 **As has been said in the fic, Stalin had issued a decree that, among other things, prohibited rapes, but that decree was not very obeyed.**

 **Hello! Here again with this chapter. It had interesting things, like the mini-summary of Russian history.**

 **There was also a subject that I really wanted to talk about: when the Allies invaded Germany, there were a lot of rapes. The most known and widespread were those of the Soviets, but there were many rapes within the US, French and English occupation zones. It was horrible.** **In invasions, at any time in history, anywhere, there were always / there are rapes. It is something not of "nationalities" but a problem of men.**

 **Until next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: neither Hetalia nor its characters belong to me.**

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Red Flags over Berlin

May 2 was a historic day for everyone, regardless of any opinion or feeling. The Reichstag was taken. That day was the total surrender and the true end of the war in Europe, and the victors cheered as never before. We, the Germans, already knowing what would happen, that was obvious, we just stayed in silence, a total silence although Berlin, destroyed and withered, I heard the Soviets celebrate and mourn.

That day was meaningful to me, to everyone in reality. In complete solitude, sitting on the bed, looking out the window, even the warm sun could not comfort me, winter was dissipating, and even then, no joy brought me the approaching summer.

Alone and without thoughts, exhausted by everything that had happened; I only devoted myself to listen to the Soviets sing their songs loudly while throwing their hats in the air in victory.

I heard them sing and cry and there I realized that the war was not only over for us, but for them too. I could hear them whimper and watch them wipe tears with their sleeves and even then, even if I wanted to, I could not feel compassion for them. If I should cry, it was for Germany, not because I did not want to cry for Russia, who suffered and bled to Berlin, but because my home was Germany and Germany was at a standstill.

Russia had Prussia, the other allies to Germany, it did not make sense. Why each one had the other? Were not Russia and the others supposed to be allies? Apparently, things would go wrong and cheated for a long time, but I asked that they no longer involve Germany, the unfortunate Germany, he had already fulfilled his mission, now deserved to live in peace, if he lived.

Russia was in the Reichstag in celebration; Mrs. Schneider was not there, so that significant day was me, and the sepulchral silence of the house.

 _Tenacious union of free republics that has united Great Russia forever!_

 _Long live the yearning of the people, the only and powerful Soviet Union!_

I heard singing from the streets, the anthem of the Soviet Union resonated in Berlin, and I swear that I would never forget it.

And there, alone, listening to the hopeful and strong voices of the Soviets, singing that song, after all that happened, I could not help it, I broke into tears. With anguish from my chest, I could not avoid it and I cried and cried, while the song spread to every corner.

Germany Prussia, I just wanted to think about them and what the cruel fate had in store for them, but it was very difficult to do it, hearing those voices, and seeing Berlin dressed in red.

What would become of us? In the hands of the Western powers, or Russia? The melancholic Russia.

The world was horrible and grey and even so, the red flags glowed and waved enthusiastically.

 _In the victory of the immortal communist ideal, we see the future of our country._

 _And we will always remain faithful to the red flag of the glorious Motherland!_

The song ended with clamor and force, and I felt, as if in their last words, in the last the whole world would break like glass.

I stopped crying, and red flags waved over Berlin.

* * *

 **On May 2, 1945 the Soviets took the Reichstag and the last German forces surrendered, ending the war on the map of Europe.**

 **Short chapter, I know. The story will continue to unfold but it is close to its end.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Neither Hetalia nor its characters belong to me.**

* * *

THE PARTY

Since everything had ended for us in the sense that we all already knew that optimism was useless, the only thing that kept me out of a complete anguish was thinking about Germany and Prussia, and what would be their destiny.

But that day, on May 2, was a special day in the neutral sense of the word. Actually, since the Soviets had arrived, everything had been like buckets of cold water to our reality, but this had been the worst. Nothing hurt more than seeing the truth before your eyes. Some, disfigured before such cruel truth, preferred to cling to the sweet lie and keep opposing to it. All of them were shot. It was time to make the truth known and eradicate the lie, said Russia.

All May 2 was a dense and transitional day for all, the definitive transition between illusion and reality. With Mrs. Schneider we spent the day with the neighbour's sewing rags and sharing some words to alleviate the environment, although every word in the background was full of deep pain. I, particularly that day, I felt as if I had something stuck in my chest, like an air that obfuscated me, but I could not do anything.

Unlike us, the Russians celebrated and sang in the streets, happy that the war was finally over. That bothered many. There was no lack of people who would have liked to believe that only they suffered, but no, now it was evident, that the Soviets suffered as much as we did, or even ...

It was a horrible day, although surprisingly quiet, nobody bothered us, until the night came.

When night fell, around nine o'clock, a most hilarious event was unleashed. Disconcerted, I went to the door where someone had touched. When I opened it, I only received a few shouts of celebration and an uncomfortable hug. Russia and his people settled in our hall to celebrate and end of the war, the end of Germany. All his platoon entered with Vodka, accordions, and a turntable. They entered and continued to enter. Before I knew it, there was already a party in the building.

From one moment to the next they were all drinking vodka, laughing and singing. I and Mrs. Schneider were stupefied and quiet, deep in fear. Because of the noise that the meeting had made, it had attracted the other timid neighbours, who were watching with tired eyes as the Russians celebrated our own fall in our own house.

For a while, for us it was a very uncomfortable situation, completely static looking at the scene, but soon, upon noticing, what happened surprised us all: the Russians began to approach us and talk to us, the men approached the others and invited them vodka and they talked, as best they could, peacefully. Not everyone spoke German, but for the first time I really saw a friendly communication attempt. Of course, all this surprised us, and we did not know how to respond.

And suddenly, the imposing Russia approached me. I looked up to find his, and I saw a friendly smile and in his eyes, a look with which he had never looked at me. The music of the turntable was already healing, and from it came typical Russian songs and velvety melodies. And Russia without disarming anything, expended his hand to get me to dance. Without much energy I accepted, and on alertness I went out to dance slowly with him.

-You have terrible dark circles- he told me funny.

-You seem happy, for the first time you do not have a disturbed face- I said apathetic

Why do you treat me like that? The war is over. I thought you would be just as happy as we are," he told me, and I could only feel a huge anger running through my blood. Be happy? Of what? Our men had died in every way, our country had been invaded and raped, and maybe, he would never be free. We had lived a perverse lie. What would we be happy about? The war finished or not, had destroyed everything in us. Russia could not understand it, our situations were very different. But I did not say anything; I just lowered my head angrily while I was dancing without desire. He was still smiling. Around us all laughed and sang, and finally, the ice had broken between us, the men talked quietly and even Mrs. Schneider had talked to an old soldier about how they prepare a typical dish from I do not know where. And even if the ice had been broken, there was still pain and resentment in the air.

 _Vyjadila, piesnyu zavadila_

 _Pra stipnova, sízava arlá,_

 _Pra tavo, katórava liubila,_

 _Pra tavo, chi pisma bieriglá._

 _Oy, ty piesya, piésinka dievichia,_

 _Ty lití za yásnim sólntsim vslied,_

 _I baytsú na dálnim pagranichie_

 _At Katiushi pieridái priviet._

 _Pust on vspómnit diévushku prastuyu,_

 _Pust uslýshit, kak aná payot,_

 _Pust on ziemliu bierizhiot radnuyu,_

 _A lyubov Katiusha sbierizhiot._

He sang Russia near me, the song Katyusha, and I only could feel admiration. I had to admit that the voice of Russia was beautiful, of a powerful tenor.

-Do you want to go home, right? - I asked.

-Of course. Nothing would make me happier to see my sisters and return to the cold streets of Moscow. But there are still things to do - he finally told me. I did not say anything, although I would have liked it, I did not.

Suddenly, from the turntable came a melodious and velvety voice that caught my attention, and I listened attentively even though I did not know what it was saying.

-You like it, right? It's Mark Naumovich Bernes; his songs have been our spirit all the way here.

.

.

.

The party passed until late at night, and soon the atmosphere became truly festive. Soon the time came when all the soldiers and Russia made the famous Cossack dance, and we all applauded. The vodka, the dance, everything was like a painkiller to a terrible pain, a pain that when dawn comes, it would lose its meaning. And I could not stand it anymore. Apologizing to whoever I was, I left the room to the hall and then to another room. I closed the door, ending the party music that smeared the house, and finally, I broke down in tears. I had wanted to do it all day. Everything was so cruel.

Suddenly, the door opened, and Russia appeared obviously annoyed. When he saw me crying, he really got mad.

-Is nothing good for you? Are not you happy that the war is over? Are not you happy that we all dance and laugh together? For you, we should all suffer and hate each other - he shouted at me.

Even with tears on my face, and that they would not stop falling, I faced him without fear.

-And what did you expect? That we will forget everything? Do you think it's easy to have hated you so much, so much time to later to have you at home dancing with us, smiling at us? Do you think you can make me happy? You raped me, do you forget?

-I am not a person, I acted as one, but I am not, I am a human idea, and at that moment it was the only thing I could do, the only thing I felt capable of.

-That does not change anything. I hate you with pain, you know? You hurt us, and we as well, you shouted at me the horrible thing about our ideology, and you destroyed our world.

-Do you want to talk about ideologies? - He said angrily, and I can only think "Please no".

-No, I know, you explained it to me. I do not want to hear anything! Neither you, nor your ideology, nor your stupid songs! - I shouted.

-But surely you want to hear this- he said with an expression of the most disturbing, he came abruptly to me, with in his violet eyes a horrible light. - Sure I murdered your fiancé- I was paralysed.

-"Probably I killed him in Stalingrad, I do not know, I killed so many. As well is it possible that he murdered mine men, children, and raped women, who knows? Nobody is unpunished. It does not make any sense, but it happened, and we were all foolish victims of a perverse event.

I listened to each of his words with wide, static eyes. Tears fell and a deep pain and sadness invaded me, and Russia, looking at me with some compassion, left. I did not move, I could not do it. Everything was so unreal. Could there be such a horrible world, and at the same time, so beautiful? Russia was right, it did not make sense.

I moved my head when the first rays of the sun touched my face, and observing the new dawn, I knew it would begin a new shekel for all, for better or for worse, but a new cycle. I knew that Russia and I would no longer fight, there would be no longer a grudge, and we understood each other for the first time. And even if I never had more optimism, I had hope. Hope for me, for Germany, for Russia, for everyone, even for my beloved Hans and all those who had died in complete nonsense.

* * *

 **Here is the new chapter! I repeat, the story is near its end.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Neither Hetalia nor its characters belong to me.**

* * *

The Days that Followed.

The days kept marching and things were taking their place. The Soviets, after taking the Reichstag and with the surrendering of the high Germans commands, had taken control over our area. Things had calmed down as they had been before, but in reality everything was still tense, dangerous and in uncertainty. We, the German citizens who were under Soviet rule, quickly learned to accept the cruel reality and soon, the presence of the Russians became more and more natural, more "normal". It was a sad thing, we were a people that had been dominated by evil people, and now we were dominated by people who hated us. I used to hate them too, but up to that point, anyone with a little intelligence and good sense understood everything beyond hatred. I knew now, that my hatred towards them had been inculcated by those who really hated them, but I had no reason to do so, it was a foreign hatred that because of the war I thought mine, but it wasn't. But now I should have real reasons to hate them, they invaded, raped, and maimed us, stolen our freedom, and killed those we loved, but precisely because of the previous observation, the only thing I could feel for them apart of fear was compassion. They had been ripped out of their homes to the war that we had started, they had suffered like us, and their hatred for us was equally inculcated. We were equal victims at that point.

Germany was now divided into places of Allied and Soviet occupation. My whole family was in the south, under the US occupation zone, where they were not having a better time than anyone else. It is true that the allies came with an aura of "freedom" and "generosity", while the Soviets came with a red aura called "communism", (a word that both in the western world and under our previous government was an emetic word) but all this was false. Although the Americans came chewing gum with a smile, and the Soviets with the face of few friends, it was actually the same. Even so, my relatives, especially my mother, were deeply concerned about me, and they were right to be.

Things continued their course, whatever that was, and we, without being able or willing to resist, were swept away by the current. Russia in those days was busy and enthusiastic organizing the administration on his area of influence, so for a while I didn't see him often and he did not return to the building, at a certain point I was relieved, I found it significant. At first, I liked to believe that Russia would leave us at a certain point and that Germany would be one again, but now, I knew maturely that that would not happen, that Germany would be in different hands for a while. I had not seen Germany for a long time, or Prussia, but according to Russia, we would see Prussia again at some point, even if I did not know what it meant.

It happened soon that on June 10 of that cruel year (1945) the Soviet authorities announced that they would give space to an election, setting the date for October 1946. When we heard it all we were stirred, we were excited at a certain point, and we could not believe it. And soon my eyes crossed with that of Russia, who smiled at me.

.

.

.

That night I myself went to see Russia, who was in the Reichstag with the high military commanders of the area, and when he had time, he took care of me, offered me tea and we sat down to talk.

-You're already thinking to which party will you vote? - Russia asked me funny, while having a cup of tea.

I just smiled, I really didn't know who to vote for, the Germans had not been voting for a long time since 1933, and I never had. Even so, I would lie if I said I was not interested in.

-I hope you heard the announcement today, all parties that will be allowed to participate will be anti-fascist parties, to exclude the possibility that former Nazis try to regain power.- he told me and my spirits fell a bit. With his announcement I remembered that we were not free, that they were the bosses, although in some way it could have been worse, at least they let us have elections.

There was a silence. I stared at a painting on the wall while Russia drank quietly, when he spoke again.

-The parties that will participate will therefore be all leftist parties, as it should be. They will be the Communist Party of Germany, the Social Democratic Party of Germany, and the Christian Democratic Union of Germany, among some other. Although, if the Germans have a bit of brain, they will vote for one specifically-" He told me seriously, digging his deep violet eyes into me. I didn't look him in the face.

-What are the elections really for? - I asked quietly. He relaxed his gaze, smiling complacently.

-You will know, there's still a lot for that, but go thinking and studying about the parties, before committing a stupidity. I'll ask who you voted for, and I'll ask you why you did it, so get ready- he said taking a last sip of tea. That would have sounded like a threat to me before, but now I saw it as a challenge. At a certain point Russia had been right. I had to know a bit of the history of my country and of politics if I really wanted to contribute, although secretly, for my Germany still had no future, his history was over.

Russia stood up, I imitated him. I always felt tiny before him, who was tall and imposing.

-I'll entrust someone to take you to your house. You must go now.-

While I was leaving the Reichstag, Russia was going to have another of his military meetings.

.

.

.

Time passed, and things went their course, regardless of whether it was a bad course or a good one. When more time passed, more awareness we were taking of what had happened, and what was happening. The Nazi past did stifle everyone, and the present was not much better. We understood the situation of our fragmented nation, and although we still walked with our heads down, many were already beginning to speculate about the future or their own future. I didn't spend my time speculating. I was more determined to help the neighbours of the building and to be active all the time, thinking too much about all was depressing. The end of a war did not mean the establishment of peace, I had easily realized that. The war was over, but there was no peace.

It happened that when the Empire of Japan surrendered to the American forces after the two atomic bombs, we were all terrified. For the first time, I fully believed in the words of Russia, and hid myself in his strong arms in tears of terror. "The United States is a monster" used to always say Russia, although I never took it into account until that day. Nobody was good, anybody. Neither Russia, nor Germany, nor the Americans. The world of men was horrible.

After the American attacks on Japan and after the war ended completely, I found myself submerged in a strong paranoia and despair. I wrote to my mother desperate many times, worried because they were under the American zone, but she always told me they were fine. It took me a while to overcome that fear.

We learned what was happening in the world or in the rest of Germany through what the Soviets told us or with the Russian newspapers. Any newspaper that didn't agree with Russian propaganda was not trustworthy. At a certain point I understood it; the allies had to say the same in their respective areas of influence.

And soon, 1945 ended. It was the saddest Christmas I ever spent in my life, more than anyone. I had spent Christmas alone, waiting for my beloved, but nothing compared to that Christmas, which I spent with Mrs. Schneider and some neighbours. The Soviets did not celebrate Christmas, they were all atheists, and some recommended that we not do it, and if we did, that it was modest.

New Year was a different thing. We had two new years, one of the 31, another one on the 7th of January. During the "first new year's" we tried to lift our spirits and celebrate something in community, although nothing was very happy. That day, Russia joined his fellow allies in dealing with political issues and "toasting" the end of the war. When he returned, he returned spitting insults to a certain "capitalist American."

The "second new year" on January 7, 46 ', day where the Russians celebrate New Year, was a huge party, one where we feel better, but there would always be something sad. It was a night of vodka, dances, songs, good food, gifts, and kisses. Russia embraced me and kissed me strongly, and I preferred not to resist, although I did not reciprocate either. The next day we had to clean up the mess.

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.

.

It happened that in April of that year, 1946, the traditional left parties were consolidated when the Communist Party and the Social Democrat of the Soviet zone merged into the new Unified Socialist Party of Germany. That was quite an event, and it gave a lot to talk among us.

In the area occupied by the other allies, that was taken negatively. The social democrats in the western zone, and particularly its leader Kurt Schumacher, condemned this forced unification and pressure by the Soviet Union. Russia laughed with pleasure as he read in the newspaper how much annoyed this action in the allied areas. I did not dare to ask if what Kurt Schumacher said was true.

Many before the expected elections were held in October, followed the process of union between the communist and social democratic forces that followed the same pattern of what was happening at the time in the Eastern European countries that were under control or Soviet influence.

And while everything was happening, the day arrived. Actually, I didn't know who I would vote for. As much as Russia had harassed me all the time to vote for the United Socialist Party, it was still difficult for me. One cannot jump from fascism to communism in just a few months. I could not do it.

The day before we were all anxious, but we tried not to talk about it. I would have liked to know which party Mrs. Schneider was going to vote for, but I suppose she wanted to keep the secret only for herself.

.

.

.

And finally, on October 20, 1946, the day finally arrived and with nerves, I went to vote. It was the first time in my life that I voted, which I found strange. Under the government of the Nazis, it was not possible to vote, it was them and only they. And it was by the hand of the Soviets "the dictators", by whom for the first time in my life I voted. After doing it, I realized that it was not the big deal. No matter who I vote for, it does not matter; I'll just say that when Russia asked me who I did it for, I lied to him.

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.

I was especially anxious to know the results of the elections, and it was not a big surprise to me that the new Unified Socialist Party of Germany won the most votes, but I was equally surprised by Russia's attitude about it: he was not satisfied. In fact, the result had outraged him. He came to consider never holding elections again, but he left that question aside. Apparently, Russia had wanted us all to vote for that party. It was there that I quickly realized that despite voting, our destiny was not in our hands, I should not be excited, it was in the hands of Russia. All Germany and his destiny were in the hands of someone else, and soon, we would all see the outcome.

* * *

 **Here is the new chapter! This is my favourite chapter so far, if the other chapters seemed bland in comparison, it's because I hurry up to this point in the story.**

 **In this chapter some important historical details are seen, such as the elections of 46 under the Soviet zone, and the future of the story is also being glimpsed.**

 **Until next time!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: neither Hetalia nor his characters belong to me.**

* * *

It was strange, but it had happened. The elections of 46 took place, and won the "Unified Socialist Party of Germany" as it was expected, although such results did not please Russia as he would have expected a total victory, and the results were not completely complete. From that, the days that followed, Russia was upset and bad tempered. The authorities of the western areas did not recognize such elections. His rants with regard to the elections were the only thing that made Russia laugh in pleasure in those dark times.

The days continued to pass, and the months, and from the past the wounds of the past and the war seemed to heal, the people seemed to smile again, the children to play in the streets in summer, but in reality, there was an immense pain in everyone and the wounds were waiting to make open returned. Germany, our beloved Germany was under the hands of Westerners, far from those of us who were under the Soviet occupation zone. And of Prussia, I knew that he was under the power of Russia, but nothing else knew about him. Desolate, we only had ourselves, facing an uncertain future.

With almost three years of living with the Soviets it was logical that we ended up getting used to them and their vices and tastes, although it was not unusual to see other foreigners. Personally, I rarely left the district administered by the Soviets, so my views with the other foreigners were not very common. Even so, we having become accustomed to them, we would never adapt, nor could we forget that cruel fact: we were under foreign domination, for better or for worse, and we were not free and never again. I had become accustomed to Russia, to Ivan Braginsky, the imposing Soviet Union, with his prominent height and his terrible violet look, and his tenor voice, but I never appreciated him, because I always remembered. Even so, I would lie to say that I no longer hated him so much and that in fact I was intrigued, and that despite sometimes despising him, I preferred him to others.

Life continued with a big difficulty, and although I began to live the days that followed glad, I was not happy, like everyone else.

.

.

One day, I ventured into the district of Berlin under the American zone, which I rarely did. I wanted to shop and meet a friend from there, and although I was intimidated by the American soldiers for not knowing them well, I spent part of the morning there. When I saw him. Walking down the street, I saw him out of the corner of my eye. Speaking happily with soldiers on the street, there it was, United States of America. Static I stayed when I laid my eyes on him and he caught my gaze. He did not smile at first, as if reading me first. Then he smiled at me, and approached me. He said something I did not understand, and before he got any closer, I fled from there to my house.

With my heart in my hand, I scared the building where I found Russia with Mrs. Schneider, surely boasting how cool communism was or intimidating her, I don't know, but turning and looking at me I could not help but go to him and tell him:

-I saw him, the American.

Russia could question why I went to the American occupation zone, but all he did was smile cynically and tell me:

-Ah, so you've seen the devil.

I was shocked with his answer, even bulging. I could have questioned him, but because it was Russia, the answers were never what were expected.

-I thought you did not believe in God and the Devil.

-I do not- he said proudly- I do not recognize infallible authority, but if they forced me to do it, that American is the devil, just like his father-. Obviously he was referring to England. I did not like the English very much, and the horrible case of the Atomic Bombs on Japan made me feel no sympathy for the American, although it was not that my esteem for Russia was very great. The problem, the problem in my heart, was that Russia was the closest to innocence among all of them, much more than Germany, which was now maimed for his crimes. All my life, Russia was the worst. USA, England, France, they were bad, but Russia was the worst, they said. Now, it turned out that Russia was not so abominable and that was confusing. When you believe in something strongly, realizing the true reality hurts like death itself, and I went through that path. And then I looked around at my German brothers and sisters, and I wondered, I asked myself a terrible question: Have we repented? Or do we just lower our heads in the face of defeat? The answer was not outside, but in me, and I didn't want to know it, I did not want to, I was terrified to discover it.

.

.

It happened that in early 1947, my mother wrote to me. As worried about me as always, she asked me to go south with them, but again, I could not. But that day she gave me some news, very good news, but it hurt me as if it were the opposite. In Western occupation areas, they had already let Germany go. They had let him walk loose back, though under their strict gaze. Everyone cried when they saw him, and they went to hug him. And we were here, under the Soviets, unable to do anything, or be able to see him. It was good news, but sad for those who could not enjoy it. And I cried, I cried inconsolably, as I always needed. Alone and in the shortage of the room.

.

.

At the end, we still believed that someday the Allied forces would leave us and Germany would be free really, as we used to be. But with the dissolution of Prussia, we knew that nothing would ever be the way it once was. But strange and discouraging things began to happen. Under the western occupation zones, a coin was imposed, and we were all surprised, not least Russia. If suddenly there was a different currency between the zones, we would be divided economically, as in two spheres, and things would be complicated for the supply exchanges. Russia was as outraged as we were and soon came to join his peers and demand an explanation. Westerners spoke of a reunification of the administrative areas, but with such a measure they did the opposite. Russia's quarrel with the others was so big that he broke the joint alliance that had with them, and returned to Berlin, and then to Moscow, where it is seen that he discussed serious issues. Soon, one of the strange events began that and began tensions between the Westerners and him, the first indications of what would later be called "Cold War": the so-called Berlin Blockade was implemented, where Russia prohibited commercial exchange between the zones of Western and Soviet occupation. All the citizens were confused and annoyed, but we did not express it. We wanted a united Germany at least, but soon we realized that the ideological differences and rivalries of Russia and the others would cause us to be dragged too, we who were in crossfire.

\- "Fascists capitalist" - that's what Russia called them, enraged.

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.

For that New Year, Russia gave me something, a book by one of his favourite authors, Tolstoy. By the time he lived in Berlin and his anger had subsided a little, Russia sympathized with some. He had a sympathetic and seductive smile, although sometimes insane and sadistic. Even so, Russia became fond of us and stopped calling us "Nazis". And some sympathized with him too. There was no middle ground with Russia. Either you loved him or hated him, except me, I breeds. I had ambiguous and ambivalent feelings about him: resentment, contempt, attachment, admiration. It was not until much later that I would knew that I was not the exception to the rule, that I was on one side, despite not wanting to admit it.

Although he did not seem so, Russia was an intellectual and a passionate. The second was noticeable, but many did not think of him as an intellectual, but he was. For a long time, for me he was only a "communist" even though we didn't know that this simple fact described his intellectuality on its own. Whenever I spoke with Russia, we ended up talking about philosophy and existentiality, although I disliked it.

.

.

But with the issues that started to happen, I started to fear and get depressed again. The monetary issue and the blockade seemed to be already too obvious, but I still could not see it. I refused. Until the Bizona happened: This was called the unification of American and English areas, and then, later, French. All Germany, except for the Soviet zones, was united under the Western gaze, and Germany was there. If Germany is there, if Germany had returned, although under Western domination, where were we? We no longer counted? And it was there that I saw it, where the truth, cold and like a lightning, struck me with its clarity: Germany would be divided. It would not be united again, not while Russia continued his refusal, not while the West continued to press. So simple was that obvious revelation, that even crying made no sense.

Soon, the murmurs behind Russia's back didn't wait, and his action was blunt. He gave all of us under his influence our own currency, the Ostmark. And it was there when everything was evident, at least we believed: while Germany would eventually be independent but following the rules of the Westerners, we would be forever a Soviet colony. We would be a people without a soul. And everything turned grey again for us.

Desolate by this cruel destiny, that night I left to walk aimlessly through the streets of Berlin, without caring about anything, everything was crap. So I walked, when suddenly, under the streetlights of Berlin, I saw them. I saw him. Walking side by side, on an opposite street, there he was. My braking heart and I trembled like never before. A fire of anger and joy went through me, but I didn't move a muscle, my eyes wide open, there he was, walking alongside Russia: Prussia.

.

I tried to run, to hug him, to beat Russia, and to scream. Now we will be liberated or we will be united Germany! But none of that happened, I could not move a muscle, and I lost sight of them as they walked away, and then, I could not find them anymore.

.

.

The next morning, I ran into Russia, and boiling in anger, I took him by the collar of his military garments shouting at him.

-Where is him!? I know you have him, you wretch! - He looked at me condescendingly.

-If you saw us walking pleasantly, he is not imprisoned against his will- he said calmly. But I kept pressing him with insults and finally gave in.

-I'll take you with him-

.

.

Russia was taking me with him. With Prussia. And I could not believe it. Now, anguished and excited, as I walked behind the imposing Russia trying to dodge those who passed by, I asked myself how long ago I had not seen him. Since the war, in 1945, I supposed. When the bombs fell on Berlin and the Red Army advanced, I had seen Germany and Prussia ran from there to here, but then, when it was over, nobody saw them again for a long time, disappeared, kidnapped, killed, nobody knew, because nobody knew what the future would bring to the German nation, to the German people, until not long ago, in the Trizona, they had liberated Germany under their supervision. And now, not long after, Prussia, the one we thought was dead with his dissolution in 1947, had also walked among us again, but to walk next to Russia. That image hit me in the mind and scared me because its meaning. I already knew it, but I had hopes to the contrary. Everything was too coincidental.

Russia took me without stopping and without looking me to the Reichstag, and there inside, took me to a room. He opened the door and looked at me.

-There he is- he said. And he left me free. I looked at him, and entered slowly, more thinking about Russia than what I was looking for. He closed the door behind me, and there I saw him. Sitting in an armchair, looking at something between the wall and the windows, was Prussia, Gilbert Beilschmidt.

I didn't know whether to cry, scream, or nothing. There he was. My hope, the hope of everyone, recovered. I did not see his face yet, I was slowly approaching. He did not move. Although of the windows, the room was dark. I leaned my hand on the head of the chair, looking for his face. He was crestfallen.

-Gilbert? - I asked in a weak thread once, but firm.

Now he did look up, and I collapsed inside. It was him. His crimson eyes, his face. His eyes were tired and red, as if he had cried for a long time. And he looked at me, and I could not. I hugged him like never before, and he hugged me tightly too, letting out a sob. Sighing I had never spoken to him, neither did he, but we knew each other, he knew us all, and we them, after all, they are us.

We took off, and I looked at his face. Pale as the sheets it was, with new and old injuries.

-Prussia- I didn't know where to start. I was so shocked.

-Prussia no longer exists- he said, sitting down again in his position.

I knelt down to him, to look for his eyes, which looked at the ground.

-We can go back. For God, we can now be reunited. Germany! It will only be necessary now that you are reunited, the parts under Soviet and Western rule, and ... - I cried for joy a little - now we know that we are not simple Soviet colonies. You are here. With or without the others, to be together again-

Prussia raised his head now, in his eyes there was an immense sadness, but he smiled at me mockingly, as he used to be before all this, but with sadness.

-Mein Gott, how innocent you are. Don't you see the obvious? They will not join us, not union the parts that are under other wills. No, they will not put anything together again-

I shook my head; I did not want to see it.

-Why? Haven't we already suffered enough punishment? Why not join the Trizona with the Soviet parts? - I asked desolate. His eyes returned to the ground, immersed in misery.

\- It's because of rivalries between some. Westerners want a unified Germany under their control and systems; Russia wants the same but in his own way.

I didn't understand at all.

-But why? What is wrong with a general unification under a common system?

\- Under the western domain things are implemented that are not to Russia's liking, like the Marshall Plan.

\- What is the Marshall Plan? - I asked.

\- A plan to rebuild Europe from the war - he said without further ado. Even avoiding my gaze, looking at the ground.

-That's very good!

\- Yes – he said - but it is a plan that at the same time implements Western ideologies, free market plans, and many other things contrary to the interest of many, like that of Russia. Russia doesn't like this plan, and will not let the American reach his hands in his areas of influence.

\- Why Russia and the American hate each other so much? Were they not allies against us? I understand that their ideologies are very contrary, but why don't they look for common benefit?

Suddenly Prussia burst out laughing. Apparently, it was hard to laugh. Big scars and wounds on the outside and inside he had. I didn't understand his laugh.

\- Common benefit? - He said stopping to laugh at the pain- No one ever seeks a common benefit, not even us- his words struck me.

-We just looked for and sought power, not common benefit- laughed back- and Russia and the American are doing that, competing for power, although both convince themselves that they are right, and only Russia will believe that of "common benefit".

-And why just they? - I asked, too desolate with every word that Prussia told me.

Suddenly, Prussia looked at me terribly, and his voice was deep and serious.

-Russia is the most powerful country in the world. - I felt that the room was cold and I was afraid of the immensity of his words.

-But the American is equally powerful. - That explained everything.

There was a silence in which I tried to assimilate everything. It was too much, and even then few doubts were resolved. I looked at him again, head down and emaciated.

-What did he do to you? - I said in regret.

There was something in his eyes, and he did not look at me at first.

-He caught me first, when he was advancing on Berlin. And as big was his anger and hatred, cruel things did to me, separating me and keeping me hidden. He caught my brother later, and he made him suffer worse. He had won, and he wanted to be satisfied with all the evils we had done to him-

Suddenly I remembered the horrible night when I saw Russia for the first time. In which he took me by force. I closed my eyes, tried to push that memory away from my mind. I understood Prussia. We had all suffered.

-But when the war ended, the others demanded. And they demanded my brother. Russia reluctantly gave him to them. It was not fair, he had won, Russia thought for sure. But he didn't give me up, he kept me, because it was fair in the distribution. And he continued to mistreat me, taking revenge for the war, although he was able to enjoy the evils that I did as a child, but he did not do it-

Suddenly I remembered the history of Russia, his life, and I remembered that nothing beautiful was his childhood

-He had me there for a long time, with him, but when the unification of areas of administration under Western power happened, Russia knew I had to do it-I paid close attention to what he was about to say.

-He took me out of my confinement, and that night when you saw us walking through the streets, he was explaining everything that had happened, and everything that is going to happen.-

I had a lot to think with those words, I did not know how Prussia had known that I saw them walking the streets the night before, were they ever omnipresent? But those words caught my attention and with wide eyes, I said:

-What, what will happen? -

His face hardened.

-I will not tell you, you'll see.

He rejected me and suddenly stopped. He took my arm sharply and took me out of the room

-You'll see- it was the last thing he said to me saying goodbye and he took me out of there.

So many doubts, and at the same time, everything so clear.

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* * *

 **Hello! After a while here I bring the next-to-last chapter. You can appreciate many things, historical and simple deduction.**

 **When Germany was divided into administrative areas (French, English, American, Soviet) it happened that the United States and England joined their areas together calling it Bizona and then, with those of France, the Trizona, under joint administration. A coin was implemented, but all this only ruined a possible unification as it left aside the areas under Soviet domination. Obviously the Russians would not leave their areas under Western domination and because they had won the war they would not give it to Westerners. Another currency was implemented and more and more the division that was gestating was noticed.**

 **Well, until the next and last chapter!**


	10. Chapter 10

The Sun shines over East Germany

* * *

 _"You'll see"_

That's what Prussia had said. What he meant, I would know that much later. But in a way, it was obvious.

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Westerners had united the occupation zones, the Trizones, and had imposed a currency, the German Mark, making the occupation zones under the Soviets stay out. It was curious, Westerners claimed to defend a united Germany, but they were the first to move the pieces to divide or press.

Russia was upset by that, and had broken contact with his former allies, more and more, we all looked at what was going wrong, the world was still turbulent and new dark days were coming. Russia gave us a currency and imposed a blockade so Westerners could not have economic influence on the eastern side, further dividing the situation.

And then Prussia had appeared, to whom we all gave up for lost after the War, and appeared walking with Russia, his mortal enemy. And his presence, which seemed a good omen few changes brought. Soon, the mistreated Prussia was just one more amid the general misfortune.

When it was horribly obvious that Westerners would impose a West German government, making an inevitable division, after horrible events and tears of imploring, Russia was launched and organized the so-called People's Congress, in 1948. There, all socialist parties and many communist refugees from the West discussed with Russia what would later become a reality.

As broken as we were, it mattered little if that happened. Division? unification? It didn't matter anymore, as I said at the time, everything was the same shit.

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One night, while another People's Congress was taking place in the Reichstag, which were very interesting, by the way, I stayed, as usual, with Mrs. Schneider, embroidering. Silently, look at her. As strong a she was, for the first time I felt curious about her and the past, and when I realized my ignorance, I was ashamed of my selfishness.

-Mrs. Schneider- I asked- how was the previous war?

She didn't look at me, she continued embroidering as always, in that dark room.

-Well ... it was not so different from the second, but at the same time, it was different.

-Two times you have suffered this, I don't know how you can stand all this. You are so strong-

She laughed.

\- Was not it so terrible?

-I lost my two older brothers there- she told me without further ado. I felt suddenly horrible.

-But one goes on, you must do it. That's why your depression and pain with the world and with Russia should not stifle you.

-I suppose that little matters to you already what happens with Germany? - I said.

She made a gesture of disinterest. There was her answer.

I looked at her one more time, and I knew she would be fine, everyone, at some point, we would be fine.

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.

And it was not until 1949 when the expected and obvious news of our final destination arrived: after much deliberation at the People's Congresses, Russia brought the news to Moscow. And one day, he returned with a big smile of satisfaction.

His eyes shone, and I looked at him expectantly. Anxious, he gathered them all, everyone outside the Reichstag, and next to Prussia, who was by his side, without smiling, he spoke to us:

\- German people, today is a great day – he was truly happy.

"Today you are a people again. I have spoken in Moscow and they have entrusted me with informing you that it has been accepted, that the Soviet occupation zones, until now under military administration, be liberated ... Germans ..." He stopped, his eyes bright, his breathing was shaken. The air seemed not to exist between all of us.

Russia took Prussia's shoulders, and he looked up. His crimson eyes gleamed, but he didn't smile.

"- ... today you are a country again ... Long live the German Democratic Republic!

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And that's how Germany was divided in two, all because of opposing interests. We would not have wanted it in that way, but it didn't really matter anymore, many of them liked it.

In 1949 if was an official, there were two German states, and a fragmented nation. And Prussia ... it was not Prussia anymore. Actually, Prussia had died. He was another.

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I could finally have left. My mother begged me for the umpteenth time. That time I could do it. Go away. Go south, to the now Federal Germany, with my family. There, in the other Germany, my mother had told me that there was a model for Free Market, the liberal conservatives with Western patronage wanted to march on this new Germany, and she implored me to leave the GDR. In her eyes, that was the false Germany. But nevertheless, she couldn't understand it.

And I could have gone. Fled failing. And I considered it seriously. It was easy then. It was only to go to the western areas of Berlin, and that's it, it was a settled affair. But when I had proposed to do it, saying goodbye to Mrs. Schneider forever, who would not move from her house, something prevented me from doing so:

There I was, about to go to West Berlin, and end all this dilemma. It would be easy. Westerners loved showing off how they "rescued" East Germans, so I supposed there would not be much paperwork.

And I was just a few steps away, when suddenly I heard the song, it sounded strong in that area:

 _Risen from ruins_  
 _And facing the future,_  
 _Let us serve you for the good,_  
 _Germany, united fatherland._

Our new anthem, the East German anthem, sounded strong around me, and I was dumbfounded.

 _Old woes are to be overcome_  
 _And we overcome them united._  
 _Because we so must succeed,_

 _so that the sun beautiful as never_  
 _Over Germany shines,_  
 _Over Germany shines_ _._

The first time I heard it, I could not have been more identified. Actually, the lyrics expressed many things well. We had really felt that way, and maybe that's why it worked.

 _Happiness and peace be granted_  
 _To Germany, our fatherland._  
 _All the world longs for peace,_  
 _Reach your hand out to the peoples._  
 _If brotherly we unite ourselves,_  
 _We shall defeat the people's enemy!_

It really was a beautiful letter and with difficulty, I advanced, never to return to that Germany, to leave behind the Soviets, and see my family, though, I would leave behind many big-hearted Germans, Mrs. Schneider, and I knew there would not be much difference.

 _Let the light of peace shine_  
 _So that a mother never more_  
 _Mourns her son,_  
 _Mourns her son._

Until Russia took me in his arms, from behind, making me turn. His eyes met mine, and he knew it, but he smiled at me. His strong arms didn't release my waist. My eyes looked forwards, towards that Germany, but I knew, that I could never get rid of Russia's arms…

Prussia looked at us, smiling a little. I corresponded to him. And I listened to the song carefully with them, and you know Hans, I didn't feel lonely again.

And the sun, beautiful as never before,

shines on Germany.

Shines over Germany.

* * *

 **Finally!**

 **Well, here ends the story. I made this fic with the intention of showing, more or less, how was proper the German division and what no better way to do it from a vivid perceptive. I hope you liked it!**


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